McBride for Business Blog

How to Break Through What’s Holding You Back – From a Voice of Experience

June 1, 2017 // R. Shawn McBride // No Comments »

R. Shawn McBride recently spoke to Jillian Hawkins Zhorne about their business experiences and the highs and lows.

R. Shawn McBride: Hey, folks, R. Shawn McBride here with you live and I’ve got my friend Jillian with me. We’re gonna be talking about breaking through things that hold you back. We’ve talked once before, we wanted to get into a little more detail and color. All of us as entrepreneurs have had different times of struggle and some more extreme than others. Jillian’s rode the wave high and low, so she’s got a lot of experience to share with us. We really wanted to dive into a little bit of that, what you’ve done in the past, what you’ve seen and some lessons for others that are trying to break through and get to that next level. Would you like to tell folks a little bit about you and what you’re doing now and maybe a little bit of your history and background?

Jillian: Well, right now I am a real estate professional and I’ve been in real estate for 30 years. I’ve done probably every end of real estate that you could possibly do, I’ve built homes, custom homes, I’ve owned over 500 homes, had a management company, I’ve owned a recreational dealership at one time. I don’t know, some of us we get to a point we want to step out but I always advise people don’t ever do it. It’s not a good deal, don’t do it. Stay with what you know. But anyway, I have had other companies, some of which have been successful, and some of which have not been successful. The companies that have not been successful are those of which I knew nothing about what I was doing.

R. Shawn McBride: Okay.

Jillian: So those companies are gonna always cost you a lot of money.

R. Shawn McBride: Yep.

Jillian: Are we having any technical difficulties?

R. Shawn McBride: Sound cut out there for a second, let’s keep rolling, I think we’re back online here.

Jillian: Okay.

R. Shawn McBride: So yeah, you’re talking about a careful balancing act here between stepping out of your comfort zone, taking some risks doing new things, but also not going too far to where you’re gonna be in a danger zone.

Jillian: Well, and too, if you’re gonna do that you really have to account for whatever you think it’s going to cost, triple it.

R. Shawn McBride: Yep.

Jillian: Because there’s so many hidden costs, educational costs. So many costs that you don’t account for.

R. Shawn McBride: Right.

Jillian: So that’s really where people make most of their mistakes, by not taking the numbers and tripling them, because normally when they look at the numbers, they’re just barely able to fit inside of the numbers they’ve already calculated.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: So, that’s the first danger, that’s the first red flag.

R. Shawn McBride: Yep, I gotta say the common mistake I see entrepreneurs make is they estimate I need to make this much money, and this going to be my salary, and once I pool all that together, everything’s gonna be great. But they don’t leave a margin of error in there. They don’t leave for unexpected expenses. They don’t leave for lags in revenue ’cause sometimes revenue doesn’t come in as quickly as they hoped.

Jillian: It never comes in as quickly as they hope

R. Shawn McBride: It takes a long time to build an audience and build a following and have people know what you’re capable of. Not everybody’s gonna be ready to buy, if you’re a service, not everybody’s gonna be ready to buy your service when you’re first offering it.

Jillian: That is so true. That is so true, and it takes so much time to get marketed and get your name out there and really build a brand.

R. Shawn McBride: Right.

Jillian: And that’s where you don’t have any beta testing, so you’re out there just spending money, spending money, spending money, you know?

R. Shawn McBride: Yeah.

Jillian: Maybe this will work, maybe this will work, maybe this will work. By the time you work this and work that, you know, you’re pretty much over. Hey, Shawn, I realize that my battery is just about to go dead if you’ll just give me one second to grab my plugin, I will grab that and…

R. Shawn McBride: Sure. So folks in the audience, what kind of questions are you having, what issues are you dealing with, with how to break out to the next level? Have any of you had difficulties or challenges or things that you’re struggling with, and how do you get to that next level to do more and to be more of what you want to be? I know it’s an entrepreneurial challenge and I know that we’re all facing it. Jillian, how do you get over that fear? So we’re talking about taking controlled risks and managing them, but there’s probably still some degree of fear out there.

Jillian: Well you know, Shawn, one of the things that I think is our biggest challenge, for all human beings, in anything that we’re doing, is our belief systems.

R. Shawn McBride: Yeah.

Jillian: So if we aren’t either under a coach or a business coach to break through our belief systems, those fears are going to grab a hold of us and they’re going to start controlling the game.

R. Shawn McBride: Yeah.

Jillian: And when fear begins to control the game, you can’t even be creative. You can’t see through what might be around the bend that’s the breakthrough.

R. Shawn McBride: Right.

Jillian: So you get stuck, you hit that ceiling and you can’t get through that ceiling. And then fear sets in and then you don’t want to be responsible for anything.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: And then you, oh my God, the risk and the loss and the oh gosh, a whole myriad of things start happening. But the main thing is that if you don’t challenge those belief systems, Shawn McBride: Yes.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: Those belief systems are the things that are hidden, they’re in the background, you don’t know they’re there. And they’re what’s running your show. So I always tell people don’t take on any venture or anything unless you’ve calculated money for your business coach.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes, yes and it seems to be a theme of the week. It keeps coming up, that people can benefit from good quality coaching and really helping, outside perspective. I’m a big fan of outside perspective. I know I’ve needed it a lot on my business to have other people look in and say this is something you should be focused on, that’s something you should be focused on. Oh, don’t worry so much about this. ’cause we’re too close to the fire, we don’t really see what we’re seeing.

Jillian: Right. That old saying about you can’t see the forest for the trees is just so apropos.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes, and so, it’s interesting. We’ve talked about the snowball of the downside. And of course everybody’s trying for the snowball of the upside, right? So if you start going the wrong direction, then things start to go, you start getting fear and doubt, resources start getting limited and you start hitting a real problem. But of course, everybody sees the upside snowball, which is what most entrepreneurs want to get. Once you start getting your name out there, you start building a customer base, and you become profitable and more people come to you and it builds up. So it’s a very fine line. How do you get on the right side of that line?

Jillian: Well, Shawn, number one, as everybody knows, you put together your plan. And where people oftentimes fail is they don’t put that plan together for a five-year plan and then they break it down. I know this is like everybody’s heard that, everybody knows that, well, it’s the ability to do the thinking of what I have to do today to get to five years from now.

R. Shawn McBride: Sure.

Jillian: And that takes a lot of thinking, it takes a lot of planning. Oftentimes entrepreneurs are A-type personalities

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: Well one thing that A-type personalities are not good at is the myopic thinking. We’re big picture thinkers.

R. Shawn McBride: Right.

Jillian: We really have to have, and that’s why I always encourage people to get a business coach that can help them with the myopic thinking, that you know that what you’re doing today is the right thing.

R. Shawn McBride: Yep.

Jillian: Because when things don’t go right, there’s confusion that sets in.

R. Shawn McBride: Absolutely.

Jillian: And then you don’t know, should I do this, or should I do that? But if you have a really good plan that even breaks it all the way down to a week, you have a measuring stick.

R. Shawn McBride: Yeah.

Jillian: You’re always measuring yourself against that stick and you’re always measuring it against what you needed to get done and what you need to accomplish in order to make that big picture happen.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: That’s extremely important, and there are some entrepreneurs who are kind of that if you know the DISC test, and I encourage everybody to take the DISC test to really understand what their strengths are. A lot of times we think we’re really strong in some things and we’re really not.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes, you know and we come back to planning and visioning, which is something I talk about a lot. I tell people to build a plan, build a vision, know where you are, know where you want to go. And that’s so critical, and here it is again, but it’s kind of an interesting balance. You have to a vision of where you want to go, you have to know what you want to accomplish. You want that third-party input, you want that business coach there, so you need to be a little bit flexible. You need to paint with some detail so that you know what you’re going for, but you also need to be flexible to allow things to evolve as you learn about your business.

Jillian: Well I’ll give you an example. It’s such a great example of what we’re talking about. I spoke with a friend of mine the other day. I’ve known him for about ten years. And he’s an entrepreneur. And he’s always failing.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: He gets all these big pictures and he’s got this grandiose idea of what he wants to do, and he’s got the intelligence, he’ll gather up people and start really doing good, and then all the sudden he crashes. And I asked him the other day, why don’t you get a coach, because you’ve got something that you keep doing the same thing over and over again. And you’re still getting the same results. I’ve known you for ten years. And he said “I’m not gonna get a coach, I know what I “want to do,” and I said, “how’s that working for you?”

R. Shawn McBride: Exactly, yeah.

Jillian: And so I kind of talked him through it. I said look, you have a belief system that you don’t know is running you.

R. Shawn McBride: Yeah.

Jillian: And the thing that’s running you is the thing telling you that you can do it yourself.

R. Shawn McBride: Right.

Jillian: But all of the greatest, most successful people in the world had coaches.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: You couldn’t play any sport without a coach, you’ve gotta have a coach on a daily basis, because when you get lost, that coach is the one yelling out. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen that film where the football guys are out on the field and the coach is yelling in his ear and then he tells another guy to get on top of him and he has them crawl across, I don’t know which film that is, but it was a great one, it’s such an example of what it takes. Another thing is, Shawn, is that a lot of people think that because they’re an entrepreneur, that they’re gonna have more time on their hands than they ever have before. They get to dictate their time.

R. Shawn McBride: Right.

Jillian: Wrong.

R. Shawn McBride: Yeah, the time actually gets dictated for us. It fills up very quickly. You have to be very intentional about your time as an entrepreneur because there’s a lot of demands on your time and it can move away very quickly.

Jillian: Shawn, what you do you think that people, you know, we live in a different time, I’ve been in business for 30-35 years or so. But I’ve seen our society and our business climate change so much. What do you think are some of the, I’d like to speak a lot more to the younger entrepreneurs.

R. Shawn McBride: Yeah.

Jillian: And I was thinking about this the other day when you asked me to talk with you here. And I had the question, I thought I’m gonna ask Shawn this question right here while we’re on the air. I think it’s a very important question as to what our younger entrepreneurs are dealing with in this present environment.

R. Shawn McBride: Right. Well, I think there’s an interesting thing here with the millennials, I think we have an entrepreneurial type spirit, independent spirit, but also a very collective spirit, so we’re kind of figuring out how to bring these pieces together. And a lot of people complain, they’re saying that millennials have been raised in an environment where everybody wins, everybody’s celebrated. And that’s great, we all have our individuality. We need to figure out how to bring that into a business context. So I don’t think it’s bad that we’re each celebrated for being different. In fact, I think a lot of power comes for entrepreneurs in being different, differentiating their business, doing things their way. So we’ve got a new generation with a tremendous opportunity to do great things, it’s just a matter of figuring out how to do it in a way that’s uniquely them. And then bringing out these new cultural elements which are so strong in the current generation, of doing it for a broader meaning, being part of something bigger than yourself.

Jillian: That’s interesting, Shawn, because with the millennials, and their tremendous ability to work together,

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: That is so powerful. And yet I think you hit on something very definite. Their individuality is lost.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: We are not all made the same mentally. Yes, our physiology is the same, we all have a basic conversation that comes from when we grow up, we’re not worth anything, we can’t do anything. We have this negative conversation going on. And then one of the pitfalls for the millennials, and I don’t know that this is correct, but I think then they go outside of themselves to go find the answer.

R. Shawn McBride: I think that’s it.

Jillian: They’re collective to find the answer. The problem with that is, is that you’re not coming back to the individual and dealing with that basic belief system that they have. That basic “I’m not good enough.” They think that if they go out, then they’ll find that oh, I am good enough.

R. Shawn McBride: Yeah.

Jillian: Because they get that outside influence. But actually, that’s not fixing the problem because every group needs a leader.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: That leader has to take on himself so that he can actually lead the group.

R. Shawn McBride: Right and what’s interesting too is we can have different leaders for different elements. And this is something that I see businesses playing with now, and it’s something that’s really new. The old structure has always been one leader, and a reporting structure to that leader, indirectly or directly. More and more I’m seeing organizations that are trying to get flatter. We’re going to have to see how that works when we have multiple people leading different parts of the business. I’ll be doing a video here in the coming weeks, where I’m going to be looking at a business that actually has a collectivist ownership structure, where employees work for it for a period of time, people may vote somebody to become a part owner of the business and then they share control of the business. It’s a very unusual structure from what we’ve seen for so many years. A client of mine forwarded this to me and a group out in Oregon is doing this. So I’m going to take an examination to do that. It’ll be on the R. Shawn McBride public page and on McBride for Business blog if you want to check it out here in a couple of weeks. But it’s a very, very different structure and we’re seeing new things coming out like this all the time where people are trying to balance this and I don’t think we’ve found the answer yet.

Jillian: A lot of people, Shawn, don’t want to be a leader.

R. Shawn McBride: Yeah, that’s right.

Jillian: They just don’t. As far as the DISC test, you’ve got the C, let’s see what is the one on the other side? It’s the DISC, you’ve got the C, they’re very individual. But they’re very myopic and so they’re your engineers, they’re your accountants, they’re your people who deal with the numbers, they’re very . . . they have to have that myopic point of view to do what they do best. They don’t want to go out and head up the department.

R. Shawn McBride: You’re absolutely right, we have unique skills and we need to celebrate that. I don’t think any of that’s changed for millennials. I think the biggest challenge we’re seeing right now is a lot of people think that millennials are radically different than everybody else. And they’re not, they’re just a different generation. We ebb and flow on some of these values over time as you look at the generational studies. I don’t have the name of it in front of me, but somebody looked at generational studies through the entire U.S. history, and even over this two hundred and fifty-year span, we see the same types of ups and downs. Work becomes very important and personal life becomes more important and then it becomes a group thing and then it becomes an individual thing. We keep going through these cycles, and we’ve had these four different cycles over the entire two hundred and fifty-year experience of America. And here we are in another cycle of it. We’re calling it something a little different, it feels a little different, but we’re still changing our balance. We have one generation goes very strong in one area, then we have another generation go very strong in a different area. I can almost guarantee you millennials are very collectivist and grouped and they also want to celebrate their wins and say that everybody wins and there are no losers. We will have a generation after this which goes the other direction. So the see-saw will continue. We will work together and know that we bring different values to the workplace. That’s one of the fundamental things. You’re saying some people are leaders, some aren’t. Some value group, some view individualistic. And there’s a nice way we can meld all this together in our businesses and we can do even more.

Jillian: You know one of the things about the millennials that I would suspect they might really be good at and I know a lot of people do not like MLMs, but it would seem to me that if you were someone who worked 9 to 5 and you wanted to make extra money as a millennial, or even no matter who you are, that’s a good outlet as long as it is not a consumable product like vitamins or something like that. There are a lot of different ways that you can go out there, there are energy companies, there are things that people really do have, to have that you can be involved with.

R. Shawn McBride: Sure.

Jillian: You know we don’t want to leave those people out of our conversation because people really do want to make extra money. They need savings, we live in a world right now where nobody’s really making a lot of money these days unless you work really hard.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: So there’s not really this “I’m gonna go make a fortune, “and while I’m doing that I’m gonna have Saturdays “and Sundays off.” It’s just not gonna work.

R. Shawn McBride: No, no, no.

Jillian: I would encourage people to take on something extra and really get in and know that there are no privileges when you do that. You really have to just put your nose to the grindstone and make it work. Enroll your family, enroll your family in what your goals are so they, too will give you the leeway that you need for that extra time that you’re working.

R. Shawn McBride: Absolutely. And I’ve studied a lot of people that have been super successful as I’ve studied entrepreneurship, worked with business owners and modeled my behavior and then also coached and counseled my clients and others on how to build more, and the people that have been super successful have also generally had periods of extreme busy-ness, where they’re doing a lot in a lot of different areas. It’s rare that we find somebody who’s that overnight sensation who just had an actual ability. You might see it sometime with a rock star or other people where they just do something amazing.

Jillian: Someone with a great voice or something.

R. Shawn McBride: Right, they just had it, you know. But for most business people you have to build it, and it takes a long time. I call it captured power. You’re really condensing a lot of energy into something that becomes very economically valuable. But then in order to do that, you take the extremes, you take like a Tony Robbins or even Jack Canfield with Chicken Soup for the Soul. Tony Robbins was homeless at one point. Jack Canfield had his credit cards maxed out because they were putting so much energy into this thing they were building.

Jillian: Right.

R. Shawn McBride: To get it there, and so if you want to…

Jillian: Well you know even Mark Victor Hansen was homeless at one time, too. He had made a ton of money and lost it all, ended up in the street and then, look at him now today.

R. Shawn McBride: Exactly. So this happens, we see this theme over and over again if you’re building something valuable. But if you want to break out, if you want to be that leader, if you want to do more, if you want to help these groups of others, whether you’re millennial or not. If you want to help others do the things they aspire to, you’ve gotta capture that power. And often that requires some excessive work. That requires a lot of introflexion, coaching, learning and excessive hours, too, for some period of time, to build that asset that other people don’t have. And that’s why these people are often super successful because they’ve built an asset that nobody else has. They’ve overcome their fear, they’ve condensed their time. Tony Robbins let himself go homeless because he was out speaking and learning about leadership and human psychology, but then he built something that turned into a massive company.

Jillian: Yeah, that’s exactly right, and I always tell people that five years. It’s a five-year concentration.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes, yes. Five years solid.

Jillian: Three years, after two years or three years, if you’re not being super, if you don’t see some growth like really you’re growing every year, get off the ship. Get off the boat, let it sink and go back to your think tank, figure out what it is that you really are gonna be successful at, but let it go. Oftentimes people fail because and they lose everything because they’re not willing to let it go when they need to. And that’s where my problem has been in the past is that I’ve held on to a company too long.

R. Shawn McBride: Yes.

Jillian: ‘Cause I got so far into it and I had so much investment into it that I was like I can’t quit now.

R. Shawn McBride: Yeah.

Jillian: Whereas if I would have just taken my, what we in East Texas call take my lickings I would have been so much better off.

R. Shawn McBride: Yep. That’s a great point of advice. It’s really, you’ve gotta do an assessment. Again, a lot of people fail. Mark Cuban will say you only have to be successful once in order to be great. And he failed several companies. And other people have bankrupted. Walt Disney bankrupted companies. So at some point you say, the market’s not responding or this particular model’s not working. So yeah don’t be afraid, back to the original point talking about fear, you don’t want to be afraid. You don’t want to not do things. But you want to build a plan and be realistic about it. I think that’s kind of the underlying theme of what we’ve talked about today.

Jillian: Yeah. Exactly.

R. Shawn McBride: So Jillian, I know you have a book, and I know people may want to reach out to you to talk some more after they see this video. So how do people get a hold of you?

Jillian: Well you can call me, please do, or text me at 214-417-4363. I love to speak to people and really reach out and talk to you personally because it’s a one on one and we can establish rapport and really get acquainted. But if you’d like to just email me, you can email me at

R. Shawn McBride: Perfect. And I’m R. Shawn McBride folks, you can check me out at McBride for Business. Make sure you like the R. Shawn McBride public page on Facebook, subscribe to our YouTube channel, we’ll get more great content to you. And I want to know what’s bothering you. Reach out to me at McBride for Business, let me know how we can help you, what content you need. So look forward to seeing you all again soon, talk to you later.

Jillian: Bye bye.

Make sure you download our free checklist to assess your business. 


This posting is intended to be a tool to familiarize readers with some of the issues discussed herein.  This is not meant to be a comprehensive discussion and additional details should be discussed with your attorneys, accountants, consultants, bankers and other business planners who can provide advice for your circumstances. Each case is unique.  Past results do not guarantee future outcomes. This article should not be treated as legal advice to any person or entity. Andy Stafiniak.


About the Author

R. Shawn McBride is the Chief Innovation Officer at McBride For Business, LLC. His signature keynote, The 3 Laws of Empowerment , gives audiences an entertaining look at how they can prepare, plan and protect themselves. You can reach R. Shawn McBride at or (214) 418-0258.


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